I’ll be honest up front, because I know it’s what people think when the topic of me comes around, but I’ve had very little experience in regards to anything expansive. Most of what I know has been very focused, and as such, I can’t really apply a lot of what I know to what really matters. Feels like that at least, but as it goes. This has translated into a very small job market for me, which I’ve been hacking through ever since I left my job of almost three years. Trust me, it’s something to be happy about, because even though I enjoyed the work and everyone there, I’m better off finding something that will elevate me from poverty rather than crash me into it.
Obviously I can’t apply to a lot of available opportunities, because the skills I have developed deal more with creative studies: film, gaming, and all things Internet. If there’s a job around that could pay me to dwell and geek on all things pop culture and creative, I’m sure I would excel tremendously. Granted, such jobs do exist, though they are mostly taken by the more knowledgeable and stable individuals, while I’m a mess and simply take to fancies here and there. Just one of the many things I need to ever work on…though stable income will have to come first.
I suppose one of the things I can manage pretty well is the organization of data and items, which was a cleaning chore a previous Sunday due to the fact I wanted to at least look somewhat sane in front of guests. The bedroom began as my focus, because a stable home begins where one rests, and as always I’m sorting the important papers (records, check stubs, important notes, etc.). Due to my current predicament, my “Work” folder (folder containing data on all items work relevant) was getting kind of cluttered, and in the midst of putting things away I noted several things needed to get thrown out.
One of them were two vacation requests I had for a full time job through 2007. Throughout my entire time, I only asked to have two weekends of full-time 3rd Shift work. Notable, because after I moved to Milwaukee and gained a bit of a social circle, I began to ask for more days off (or took better advantage of what time I had away from work). Post Milwaukee, there were people I could have associated with, but it was more about the work and money it provided, because I couldn’t do much of anything with the limited capital I had. Once I finally began to grow out of my shell and realize the capital I was gaining, I took advantage of the fact via new tools (computer and camera), and vacations to friends across the state.
Granted, this feeling of freedom didn’t last long, and since I moved to Milwaukee I have been trying to reach that point of capital I had in those days, only to work the dead end job for almost three years and get no closer. Heck, probably even worse off than I was when I moved here. So I’m back at that post Milwaukee mentality, where in I don’t go out or use what meager funds I have to associate with those around me, making the stress of not seeing friends quite a bother (especially those across the state not seen since 2007). At least I learned quite a few things in the long run, though I can’t really be too happy about it, considering it’s lead me to a place where I can’t learn much of anything at all (if I make it out that way at least).
Also in the “Work” folder were a bunch of rejection letters from potential employers. Among the many rejections (including one from Goodwill…what the hell?), I had a total of six from libraries, and of which only one was from a different library. I was certainly persistent, though I guess I couldn’t take a hint. I’m probably revisiting that feeling with a few companies, because I’m sure I pestered a few already about my interest in certain jobs. Not all of them have the decency to tell me to take a hike like this library did, of which I applied to ever since High School. That library certainly let me down, but at least they knew how to do it with manners.
In summary of my situation, it may very well be a very long time before I ever come back to that place where I actually had a profit in my life, and even longer before I can actually do anything with it. To put it simply, I don’t ever want to be in a position like I have now or the previous three years again, because even though I had a wonderful time growing and living in this city (small that my effort was), it would have been a hell of a lot better if I could have done it with better financial security. And no, don’t say it’s because I run a crappy budget, because I hardly spend any of my cash on extracurricular activities. I literally cringe when I see and hear someone wasting any resource for any reason. Probably why I’m not invited to any firework events (among many other activities), because I’ll always bring up the waste of resources for explosions and the pollution it causes. Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, even if she’s really just Sensible Susan.
But as it goes. I’m looking for work (better work more like it), and hopefully this city will supply me with what I need, because it’s getting frustrating to note I live in a home with the lowest possible rent coupled with a roommate…and can’t even support it. If that alone can’t give you proper insight on the wealth of Milwaukee, I don’t know what else can. And now here’s something to make you smile at the end of this otherwise depressing insight into my life.