Through my years of living, I’ve come to accept that what I promise is a big difference from what I can do. Not so much in what I can actually do (which really isn’t much), but what I’m able to push myself to do with the time that I have. Too often I fall into traps of habit and thought which keep me from intended goals, and end up making everyone unhappy in the long run. That’s probably overly dramatic, but even without the emotion it’s true: I fail at living up not only to others but to myself. Ever the goal to work myself into gear and churn out all that I intend one step at a time, but hey look, it’s a new flash game that has you caging your girlfriend up because she’s a zombie. Fun!
“Cross My Heart” was played on December 16, 2010, and shares one of those promises I have thus far failed to keep. Shared on this mission because I believe it required to share a promise that was close to your heart, or something to that effect. And this promise? It’s Neopets related, and given how random and otherwise unimportant that one game is in the long run of things, that can give you an idea at the number and range of promises and expectations I give for myself. Oh, just read what I had to say…
I used to be the head administrator of a Wiki for Neopets. I had to give it up when I began taking on other things which were more central to my life. You know, like work, bills, and dreams to fulfill? All the same, I left a lot of unfinished work, and always assumed I would go back and at least finish those stepping stones before dropping it completely from my life. It’s the way I work I suppose: stubborn to complete something even if the point of it is moot.
Don’t know if I’m going to get to that point, but it’s certainly has a spot on my list, even now. And the photo? An avatar submission to Neopets I’ve made awhile ago. It’s supposed to be Eliv Thade, an anagram master driven insane. Thought it appropriate to share, considering not many other people will ever see it.
The wiki I speak of is a subdomain of Pink Poogle Toy (PinkPT or PPT as well), and used to be thee place to go to for Neopets news and community activity for Neopets fans (as far as I knew and now know). I have still been inept at following through on emotional intents for the NeoDex (as the wiki was known), which is ever a stain on my record…even though I’ve never had a good record to begin with. The story of my start and leave from the place can actually be read in one of two articles written for the sixth birthday in 2011, which was really just a giant letter of me gushing over myself and what I did there. No need to repeat it here, right?
Since my absence from Pink Poogle Toy and Neopets at large, the PPT community (and the Neopets crowd in general?) seems to have dwindled in my absence, which is quite a shame. Far as I know, PPT is the only website which has provided a product as the NeoDex to the Neopets community. A wiki is something powerful, allowing fans to collaborate upon a shared interest for the sake and appreciation of something, even when the need for the fandom has (supposedly) faded. Homestar Runner hasn’t had much content for the past few years, but the wiki is still in operation, while a dearly adored wiki for Bonus Stage went belly up just a few months after the creator pulled the plug on his work (and consequences were never the same).
Don’t quite know what would happen to the wiki should Neopets ever fade like Akoha faded, but I like the idea of it sticking around or at least having the data preserved in some way. Not so much because of the work I put in, but so that the future will at least know it mattered to some people. Just like Akoha. Though seeing as the Internet isn’t missing it too much, I have to do my part to show it at least mattered to me. Which is why I hope to return to the NeoDex in the future, priorities willing. Plenty stands in my way, and that I’m gaining no ground certainly makes for depression. As it goes.