Pwning Life: VLOG Battle #2 + Reflection

It is indeed official. A health and wellness goal I’ve been trying to accomplish for almost three years: I am under 200 pounds in body weight. Go me. No really, go me. The occasion is indeed grand, though I’m a little late to celebrate it publicly, given this happened almost a month ago. Haven’t been in my right mind through that time, but I’m better (for now), and wish to sing and dance with you all in the moonlight. And other sayings which will likely creep you out, but as it goes.

Almost three years ago, I was working a job which didn’t give me much room for exercise, and put me in a position to eat poorly as well. Tasty pizza and convenience store food galore. The outcome put me back at my worst which was around 250 lbs, when just 2 years prior I was almost 200 lbs and could have gotten under if I have just put forth the effort. So I decided to make a stand and make use of the free goal tracker at mySomeday. I got to work on making sure I ate the right foods at the right time, pushing the exercise, and all that other stuff. Nothing really seemed to change. For a long time. Or at least it seems that way with me.

That’s the thing with body image as I’m coming to understand. You tend to see yourself all the time, and can’t really be a proper judge to how you are doing. There’s the physical things you can track such as weight, the number of reps in a set of exercises, and the length of jog you can take without a breather. But none of that really tells you how you are looking or how much more you need to push yourself to be the best you. Being the bad judge of self that I am, I understood I was doing better and even have video proof of how far I’ve come over the years. In the end it really wasn’t and isn’t enough for me.

Didn’t help that I knew there were plenty of things I could have been doing to make the process faster. I exercised, but not enough and on an erratic schedule. I cut a good chunk of bad eating out of my life, but I just love the Nutella with iced cream too much, along with many other treats. I was and am lazy in regards to my health and wellness, and knowing this along with not really understanding my body made for a nasty combo. So when I was informed I had actually achieved my goal likely a month before I was told about my not so malfunctioning scale, I almost didn’t want to believe it. Like I didn’t deserve it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with getting to this stage in my life, and feel I look good as well. Not great, but good enough. I just wish it was through a lot of hard work and not shrugging my shoulders along through the day. So I have some acceptance to work upon. To be chipper about things, it must be noted I’m looking damn fine in comparison to a lot of folk, and have the confidence to even say such a statement. But as long as I know I can do more, don’t think I can be satisfied with just this. I am only starting the path, and with one step complete there are more to follow. Along with making sure I keep at this weight, you know? Paramount!

And what’s next for my health goals? For one thing, I would like to finish up on my 100 consecutive pushups and 200 consecutive situps programs, because they have been going on for awhile as well. Hopefully they don’t take as long as this weight goal of mine, and things like this will churn out faster and faster now that I got things down a little better. I’ve also neglected my desire to practice Yoga, and I still have to finish reading up on all the poses in the book I happen to have. As you can see from my Goodreads, I’m not even halfway through it, and I haven’t updated the page count in well over a year. Or for that blasted Karate book. Or any of the books I said I would read on there. Just another thing I need to do to make my life whole I suppose. One of a thousand. What joy this world offers me! No really, what joy it offers me. Just a matter of seeing and taking it. I have my days, and this just happens to be one of them.

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