What? I said I was going to start my Lent after the official Lent ended? Yeah, I say a lot of things, don’t I? Have no fear, I did start in on my Lent like I said I would. I just failed to write about it due to the constant haze of meh I felt for the world. And I started it on April 1st instead of March 31st because I decided to give myself one more bit of rebellion, given I didn’t really take advantage of my Lent from Lent. In summary, I did nothing new for myself other than continue to follow the same routine I always did, or at least that’s what it seemed like.
What can I say? I don’t really live the hedonistic life and hardly take any risks. Despite how I tire of living a planned and calculated life, going cold turkey is scary as heck and tends to smother rather than liberate me. As I found when I tried to do away with negativity, you don’t change with the flip of a switch. There is a switch in the sense that gears are now moving in another direction, but there’s a process that needs to be followed for a ship to pass through the Panama Canal if you know what I mean. One of the seven wonders of the industrial world may save you several thousand miles in travel time, but it’s not a straight 50 mile shot through the strip of land. In other words I will progress through steps, though I hope I’m willing to take the risks when they come round.
But it all comes down to what I chose to give up for this next 40, doesn’t it? Through my wretched times of trying to make content through the work week, I found I was left so drained I didn’t wish to do a damn thing other than sleep when getting home. The only thing that seemed to keep me going was caffeine, specifically NOS. I got hooked on the stuff by accident, after seeing a YouTube video wherein PANDAstar drank NOS and liked to “paintbrush every day”(along with many other fun quotes). It has since been taken down, but you can still see the effect it has had as a PANDAmeme. Curiosity made me go out and buy a few cans, because they came in many different flavors and I felt it fair to try them all before giving judgement.
I’ve been told NOS tastes and smells like cat pee, but I honestly like it. Even the original flavoring, which I found to be very pleasant after getting used to the bite. I’ve become not only hooked to the taste, but the seeming energy and focus NOS tends to give. The amount of caffeine within these cans is astounding, and yet I didn’t mind because the focus it gave me when in the midst of my projects was worth the risk of staying up long hours into the morning. During Winter. I had become dependent on NOS, so it was a prime candidate for my personal Lent. In fact, let’s give up on all caffeine in general, and see if I can focus without any stimulants. That should work out great, right?
What’s funny about this is that there are amounts of caffeine within chocolate, and I’ve given up chocolate before. Twice actually. So not only do I have no caffeine to keep me going through the nights I would like to get something done, but now I don’t have any sweets to comfort me and keep me sane? Okay, I can still enjoy certain types of sweets, but the chocolate ones are what I tend to rely on, and given how well both my attempts at giving up chocolate worked in the past? Sometimes I don’t think things through. But it is a good challenge and it’s been an experience, that’s for certain. To be shared once it’s finished, however, and do I have my stories to share.
You’ll hear back from me on May 12, after which I will likely be consuming NOS like it’s water once more. Have about 33 more cans to go before I can afford a NOS tank top, with the reward points they offer, and I hope they are still around when I’m finished with this Lent. Yes, I am aware they are supposed to be “for the ladies,” shut up. I wear what I want! I’ll wear a dress, corset, and cat hat if the mood suits me. I’ll even go without pants for Lent!…well, that might be a little much, but it’s an idea? Awkward…