Isn’t there always a fun story of how I fail to keep chocolate out of my life? This last Lent of mine was no different, even though the focus was supposed to be on caffeine. But thanks to the fact chocolate normally has caffeine within it, I had to give it up again. Or at the very least try, because wow do I ever note how easy it is to slip or forget where chocolate is present. Ever I fail my attempts to do away with chocolate, but this time is was exceptionally odd.
My first break came when I got the hankering for some more Little Debbie snacks because I’m a fat bastard, or at the very least haven’t let go of my fat bastard tendencies. By this point I was dying for a Cosmic Brownie, but I went with a box of Star Crunch because it didn’t have any chocolate, and I was quite proud I kept to my commitment of. Problem being that a Star Crunch is literally covered with chocolate, and this fact apparently escaped my common sense until I was halfway through my first one. How does this even happen? I can’t even tell you what I was thinking at the time, or what I thought that brown stuff covering the snack was other than chocolate. All I know is I thought I was making the right choice of committing to my Lent, when in reality I had apparently gone insane.
And then there was that time I went to see Real Life at Encore, and found myself exceptionally parched. I believe they only had soda to drink, and I purchased ones which I thought didn’t have any caffeine. I did this twice over the evening, and failed my choices on both accounts. Don’t quite know if I stayed up late that night because I was charged with energy or just working hard (I was rather intense about the blog post), but the point remains that caffeine got in my belly. By accident I suppose, though nothing really stopped me from going up to the register and swapping the bottles rather than consume them out of laziness.
Failure all around, but a learning experience it was. My brain is apparently slipping, or maybe it only slipped because I changed what I was giving it? Regardless, I missed the late night drives to resupply on my NOS needs, and now I can go back to them. Or keep sane and hold onto my money rather than live dangerously. Or I can collect rewards again and finally purchase that blue tank top. Hmmm. Tank top wins! Om nom nom! And with that thought, are there any NOS food recipes out there? I like the idea of having blue brownies infused with NOS. Dangerously tasty!
Now let’s talk about alcohol, my next choice item to give up for Lent. The world of booze has been an alien one to me till a few years ago, and I never understood why folk would choose to drink something which makes them sick. Since then, I’ve got to understand the reasons not only very well, but made a collection of videos in which I discuss what I’ve gone through (both drunk and sober). Alcoholic beverages continue to be used because they are tried and true legal means to be mellow with the world. Dangerous if misused, but so is water and dieting. I don’t say this in support of alcohol, and I certainly won’t condemn it, but I can say that I understand it.
Given I’m prone to anxiety, over think everything, and am mostly German to boot, it’s only natural alcohol would be at home in my belly. I’ve had bad times with it and thus gained experiences which have made me wiser about future choices, though I have no intention of dropping consumption completely. I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy how my thoughts tend to blur together when intoxicated, and when in desired company is it ever a relief to not feel the constant need to be subdued because of my erratic mind. Heck, I’ve been told that’s why people go to conventions, and would like to try alcohol at Anime Central at some point (which I just came back from, blogs about that soon). I hardly have the spine to associate with those I work with, let alone the 30k people that go through the space over the course of a weekend. Lord knows I’m wanting a drink right now, because I’m freaking out about everything as usual, which has ever delayed the writing of this post and so many other things. The irony of it all is I can’t get much done when I’m drunk either, so what in the hell am I to do?
I’ll start making the disconnect from the world once more when June 22 comes round, hopefully in time for some parties that may or may not be happening at that point. Better that than by myself, because alcohol is a social beverage after all. Would like to think I would stick to this thought, but then again I’ve had the same feeling about movies for a few years now, and I always seem to end up watching those alone as well. The movies I watch tend to be fairly random however, so the possible audience for them is just as small as my pool of friends to call on for such things. Just one of the many things to ponder on while I try and be sober. Want me an oatmeal stout already. Soon.