Munching on cookies right now, and feeling quite content despite the fact I need to clean up a bathroom, finish laundry, catch up on video production (as ever), and remember the rest of my theatrical lines by heart for tonight’s rehearsal. Never mind the fact I’m writing this and will likely throw several other things on myself, but I digress. The last 40 was fairly lackluster in terms of changes. Keep away from certain junk food, but feel free to indulge in others. Makes sense? I don’t think so either, but I was pulling things out of my ass when I made the commitment, given I had no plans in place. It’s that way once again, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
There were two instances of cookie consumption that occurred since I’ve last written here (aside from the one right now). One occurred during a birthday party in which I got in my awesome corset getup by voter request. The artist collective I’m part of knew I likely had it on me and voted to have it present, so I pulled up my stockings and danced. And got drunk enough to convince myself it’s okay to consume the Birthday Cake Oreo Cookies, because there was no actual cake. You are free to judge me on this because I could have said no, but as it goes. Continue reading
Isn’t there always a fun story of how I fail to keep chocolate out of my life? This last Lent of mine was no different, even though the focus was supposed to be on caffeine. But thanks to the fact chocolate normally has caffeine within it, I had to give it up again. Or at the very least try, because wow do I ever note how easy it is to slip or forget where chocolate is present. Ever I fail my attempts to do away with chocolate, but this time is was exceptionally odd.
My first break came when I got the hankering for some more Little Debbie snacks because I’m a fat bastard, or at the very least haven’t let go of my fat bastard tendencies. By this point I was dying for a Cosmic Brownie, but I went with a box of Star Crunch because it didn’t have any chocolate, and I was quite proud I kept to my commitment of. Problem being that a Star Crunch is literally covered with chocolate, and this fact apparently escaped my common sense until I was halfway through my first one. How does this even happen? I can’t even tell you what I was thinking at the time, or what I thought that brown stuff covering the snack was other than chocolate. All I know is I thought I was making the right choice of committing to my Lent, when in reality I had apparently gone insane. Continue reading
What? I said I was going to start my Lent after the official Lent ended? Yeah, I say a lot of things, don’t I? Have no fear, I did start in on my Lent like I said I would. I just failed to write about it due to the constant haze of meh I felt for the world. And I started it on April 1st instead of March 31st because I decided to give myself one more bit of rebellion, given I didn’t really take advantage of my Lent from Lent. In summary, I did nothing new for myself other than continue to follow the same routine I always did, or at least that’s what it seemed like.
What can I say? I don’t really live the hedonistic life and hardly take any risks. Despite how I tire of living a planned and calculated life, going cold turkey is scary as heck and tends to smother rather than liberate me. As I found when I tried to do away with negativity, you don’t change with the flip of a switch. There is a switch in the sense that gears are now moving in another direction, but there’s a process that needs to be followed for a ship to pass through the Panama Canal if you know what I mean. One of the seven wonders of the industrial world may save you several thousand miles in travel time, but it’s not a straight 50 mile shot through the strip of land. In other words I will progress through steps, though I hope I’m willing to take the risks when they come round. Continue reading
Saying you’re going to do away with Negativity while during a depression is like saying you’re not going to get wet while swimming. It’s incredibly unlikely. Not impossible, because I’m sure there are ways to do both, but the chance of failure is just too high. And I obviously failed. This past 40 has been incredibly miserable, what with my mind racing, the exhaustion after work, never getting things accomplished before or after work, using up my weekends in loneliness trying to catch up, never getting proper sleep because of it all…it was quite a bother.
Suppose it was the world reminding me that change doesn’t happen overnight, regardless of how much you want it to. It takes work, small changes day by day, till one day you realize you’re actually a lot different than you were. Sometimes you never even notice it, and it’s those around you who see the changes. I got a bit of that this past week when I stood next to my younger brother, who is a fit fighting machine. Apparently our mother didn’t know he was taller than me, or that I could actually fit into his pants now. While I already knew all that, what I didn’t know is that I’m only a little over ten pounds heavier than him. And I always thought I had a ways to go in terms of my fat loss and muscle development. Amazing what the facts are when someone points them out to you. Continue reading
Dropping entertainment consumption was doomed to fail, but that was already known. I did however have the most productive time in my life for a long while (despite depression), and even though I’m now free to consume as much as I want…I think I’m going to hold onto this. To a point. Channel Awesome likely lost a highly avid watcher in me, but I’ll keep up when I can. Those I’m subscribed to on YouTube will need to be caught up on, given I let my Watch List fill back up again. And if I intend to have a proper relationship with other users on YouTube, I need to be present, so…will need to get on that. After making sure I’m good and golden first, as always. Can’t help the world if I’m a mess.
To note, I actually forgot to add one thing to the Focus List for my last Lent, though I made sure to keep away from them all the same. That would be webcomics, of which I had a huge addiction to with their daily updates. Because I did hold off on appreciating my daily fix, however, I will now be able to enjoy them like a regular comic book. Depending on how well that turns out, I may start reading webcomics like this from here on out. While I do look forward to catching up on all of them, most notable of the lot is Goblins (for which I made two awesome commercials). It was in the final phase of finishing up another chapter when I started my Lent, and the direction it was going spooked me. Ever ready to see what went down. Continue reading
By the time you read this, I am likely eating the chocolate covered almonds given to me as a birthday gift a week and a half ago. And I may or may not be having Nutella and a bowl of vanilla ice cream with pecan pieces thrown on top. Don’t want to go into a sugar shock or destroy my teeth any more than necessary, you know? While I may finally be able to eat chocolate again, it doesn’t mean I have to go and make myself sick. Already having a bit of that right now, and let me tell you, I look forward to not having to go to the bathroom so much. TMI, yes, so moving on.
And I did fail the challenge of not eating chocolate for this Lent. Were there any doubts it would be otherwise? I failed on three separate occasions, and all quite funny stories. My first failure was by strange mistake, one fueled by exhaustion from work. I had gotten in the habit of driving around town and exploring after buying snacks from the local Kwik Trip, and I had a craving for some peanut butter cookies. I quickly picked up a case, and over the course of the next couple days after that night munched on two cookies driving to and from work. Halfway through the container, I finally noticed the type of cookies they were via the label: white chocolate chip and macadamia nut. I honestly don’t know how I could have made the mistake, especially given they look nothing like Kwik Trip peanut butter cookies. Strangely enough, I discovered they taste similar when I eventually bought real peanut butter cookies later on (though white chocolate was slightly sweeter). Continue reading
My ventures without porn weren’t as exciting this time around. I knew what to expect and how to cope due to my previous attempt, but a refresher is always nice. I still failed, mind you, but changes in lifestyle make for uncomfortable living, and if you’re always comfortable you’ll never really change. So be the change today, you hear? Whatever. And given I didn’t give much thought as to what I can do for my next 40, how about I do another cop out and attempt life without chocolate again? This time I might actually succeed in keeping it out of my life for the full 40. No, not going to leave the blog post like this, because that would be boring and a waste of your time. How about my last 48 hours of a chocolate filled life? No really, it’s a good story. I hope.
Two nights ago after work I noticed I needed gas for my car, and thought it would be the perfect excuse to get some junk food from the local Kwik Trip. Along with the gas I bought a pork rib sandwich, cheese filled bread sticks, chocolate covered peanuts and milk to wash it all down. A dinner of fat champions it was. Ate it all whilst exploring the city at night, which is pretty much the only time I can do as such these days. Police be damned, I’m going to legally enjoy my right to wander the public streets in my car, snacking away. Continue reading