Category Archives: 40 Days & Nights

40 Days & 40 Nights: Porn #2

In my last 40, I spoke of Road Ranger’s amazing pizza and how rare it was to find in chain of stores. I eventually found out their website had a search feature which allowed you to find stores with specific features and options, one of them being their pizza. It would turn out the Road Ranger I visited on the way to my now ex-girlfriend in Illinois was the closest one to my current locale in Wisconsin. The closest one to me in Wisconsin itself resides in Oakdale, which is good if I wanted to visit a friend in La Crosse, but not good just to have a snack. The rest reside in Illinois and are otherwise over an hour away. So I’m screwed on getting Road Ranger Pizza.

Lest I make a trip, of which you can be certain I will be doing soon enough now that I have free reign to consume Road Ranger Pizza. Problem being I can only travel like that during the weekends, and my time is limited as it stands (or so it should be). I suppose I could drive there after work given it’s a 24 hour gas station, but I honestly don’t like the idea of driving alone that amount of distance just to feed a craving. If I had company, it would be another matter entirely. So this is a call out to anyone I know who would like to get some gas station pizza over in South Beloit, either on a weekend or sometime after 10 PM during the week. I’m starving. If done during the weekend, we can stop by Naughty But Nice and pick up something…nice? If it’s still open that is. However it goes. Point being, hunger drives a man to do terribly silly things, and my will is ever weak. Whatever. Om nom nom. Continue reading

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40 Days & 40 Nights: Convenience Store Food

Just turned back on the instant messaging stuffus, given I’m officially finished with my last 40. While cut off from those functions, it didn’t feel a whole lot different than when I normally worked it, given I never used it to begin with. More so, my record of messages sent in my direction didn’t really change either. As such, I really have to wonder on the point of IM in my current lifestyle, given how little it’s disappearance really challenged me. Least the lesson is learned, and I can say for certain who I am in that regard at this time.

In other news, we did it. One whole year of 40 Days & Nights down. Can’t say it’s been the best year of growth, but I’m certainly in a much better place than I was. Not because of the challenges, mind you, because that’s awesome in of itself, but living a poor man’s life in a city that had no place for me. Now I’m back with family, which is something I have no shame about sharing, because I’m getting back on what legs I have and building capital, projects, and relationships in an environment which allows me to not go crazy. At least on those days when I’m not a depressed fool, as it have been some days ago for a two week period. Point is, I’m better from that now, and I’m better now, and I’m ready to punch some babies. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Instant Messaging

By this point I have likely consumed vast quantities of ice cream. You are welcome to be jealous. I rather think you should feel sorry for my poor stomach and rotting teeth, though I’m sure you’ll likely laugh instead. As it goes. The ice cream withdrawal took some getting used to, especially given my parents brought in a large gallon pail of vanilla fudge swirl around the halfway mark. I got through it though, and managed to ingest more cold glasses of milk to compensate the lack of ice cream. So I’m honestly not any healthier for the matter, but since when have I ever been a healthy eater?

So what’s next on my list? I’ve already stated how I’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel, but I find this issue of mine to be more a problem of creativity than a lack of options. At the very least I could redo one of the Lents I’ve taken on in the past, right? And that’s not to say I don’t have an idea I’m ever ready to try, though the implications of giving it a go…I don’t think I’m ready for the consequences. No, not as bad as giving up the Internet, which I actually minimally dealt with for over a year back in the day, and don’t think I’ve ever willingly do. Will take another broken computer or some form of imprisonment to do that, and both are likely options in the future. In that I accept such outcomes, and not because I deserve them. Honestly.

But hey! How about something that has once again taken root in my life, only…not really? I speak of instant messaging, which I was incredibly addicted to back in the day when I first discovered it. Instant communication with someone in another badly ventilated room away from society? Awesome! I recall being a fiend on the IM, constantly berating others with conversation just because I was bored. With Internet access. Imagine that! When I eventually stopped poking people, I realized no one really cared to speak with me to begin with, so I pretty much stopped using IM completely. There was the thought of it being my quick access to email without going through all the website prompts, but then I had to leave the program open, and I just didn’t see the point of having it run if I wasn’t going to use it.

Here comes the “not really” part of my return to instant messaging. Some time ago, I eventually rediscovered Trillian and marveled at how I could instantly access all my emails from a single platform. And the IM features? Sure they were used, but I hardly ever started a conversation. Most conversations were started in my direction, and I only initiated if I really needed to know something, and only kept conversations going if I was continually prompted. I’m not a very sociable fellow in that sense, but this is redundant chatter, so as it goes. Point is, I never really returned to instant messaging because I never pursued it. So giving this up isn’t really going to hurt me too much, given I can still be reached via electronic mail. Still, the conversations that are had with me over time tend to get exhausting and draw my focus away from other things. As such, I end up staying up later than normal, because I usually still need to get something done. Given my free time is once again limited due to a new work life, I’m down with this oh so much.

Because I’m giving instant messaging up and not Trillain, it’s likely I’ll be “Invisible” or still be on Facebook with the chat turned off. And seriously, what’s the harm of a decent digital exchange in lieu of LOL or other short blurbs of nonsense? Hell, the Facebook messaging system used have a difference between messages and IM, and now that they are one and the same, saying LOL is all it’s used for. Mind you, I find this FB change to be fascinating, because now I can look back on the chats I’ve had with people over the course of the years. However, that’s beside the point, because seriously! Facebook messaging has become nothing but a haven of quirk blurbs. It’s come to the point that any time I say something of worth people treat me like a nonconformist, and I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing. I’m a believer of using all 140 characters on Twitter as well, because if you don’t have something to say, don’t say anything at all. And that’s why you should follow my Twitter. Because I’m smart dammit.

Looking forward to keeping things simple, slow, methodical and have some substance to say to people. As electronic communication should be. Like regular mail? Don’t quite know if I’ll get the same in return. I’ll “be back” round July 1, 2012, or so, so enjoy your LOL in the chats where I’ll likely not bother you with my nonconformist ways. Or something.

40 Days & 40 Nights: Ice Cream

I can finally waste my money once again on eBay, though I really don’t think I want to at this point. Having little funds and little income makes for a sad man, and I honestly don’t know what I could buy that I’d need. There’s always more Dungeons & Dragons material to buy, that is for certain, not to mention all the other gaming materials I never touched. Could also upgrade all the tech I have and make the push to finally get a Nintendo DS (and do it right this time). And it’s a given I’ve been keen getting another Canon HG10 for bigger productions, so why the heck not?

Because I don’t need it, and I certainly don’t intend to be playing any new games or filming anything impressive soon. Better to work with what I got than spend, spend, spend till I have more than I can do anything with. Just another one of those never-ending goals in my life: to cut the fat and become more efficient. It’s a skill that still requires a lot of development, including the willpower to make things happen, but as it goes. And while I’m making the push to keep away from eBay, I do have to wonder what I’m going to do with the eBay certificate of $o.50 which will expire at the beginning of may. Surely I don’t want that to go to waste? Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: eBay

My Neopets withdrawal went by rather quickly and smoothly. In the end I fell back upon other time wasters, like Channel Awesome, YouTube, and Newgrounds. Not a very healthy choice for myself, given I have so much to catch up with in my life, and it’s becoming quite annoying to everyone when I keep telling them I haven’t gotten a hold of my life yet (you the reader included). So I’ll stop being redundant and get on with it.

In regards to getting on with my life, I’ve come into a job since November that isn’t good for my health, but was a job willing to pay me for the work I could do. I gladly signed on, and even got a lot of my debt paid off. But due to the fact I actually have a spine when it comes to ethics (even though it takes me awhile to stand up for them), my last day on the job will be this Friday. As such, the income will be cut till I can find something new, which should be really easy considering I was almost immediately offered this position upon moving home. Or it could be really hard, considering I never bothered to see what the job market is really like. Again, I got this job almost immediately. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Neopets

I’ve begun playing my Gameboy again, and I’m not too thankful, given the reason I decided to give it up (sorta). Will be finishing up the rubbish that is Dawn of Souls soon enough, but damn is it infuriating. Who knows? Maybe only half of the game will be rubbish, though that still doesn’t help the overall value of the whole product. Such a shame for such a famed early game, and I’d like to say the remake had potential, but how far can you go with the annoying concept of Random Encounters? I may be glad this is something of my past and not present.

But enough of my future pain, and to talk of my next 40, yes? It shall be something I’ve taken a great obsession to like Channel Awesome material (may need to give it up again), and it eats up a lot of my spare time upon the Internet when I could be using it to communicate. Or more importantly, create content instead of consuming it. And to be honest, I don’t really gain that much from it all, save for the nostalgic memories of being part of it and the power it seems to give me. I am of course talking about Neopets, which I’ve been playing on and off since 2000. Yes, you can start laughing. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Gameboy

So…I’m pretty sure I don’t want to go through the last 40 again. I can see what got Matt Sullivan all turned up into knots. Being so used to controlling what I feel, abstaining from something I never really stopped since my teens, and…well, do you really need to be told I failed to go the full 40? The first two weeks were a bit of hell, and sleeping was a bother in of itself, let alone the dreams which would come (giggity?). I forget when and how the break actually happened, but let me say I felt right as rain afterword. Besides the obvious guilt, mind you, which I’m pretty good at when I know I should be acting a certain way.

Since then I’ve found plenty of excuses to relapse, though in the end I’ve still cut down the amount of masturbation that usually happens by 75%, which I can accept and be glad about. This has been a very learning experience for me, which is why I’ve prompted myself to start doing the 40’s to begin with. I’ve discovered I’m a much more sexual creature than originally thought, which I kind of figured anyway, but actually living through a reprieve had me face the facts.  Suppose this would be the push I need to actually find an intimate connection with another, but I’m honestly lot more interested in catching up with things and making my life work. I’m self indulgent like that, and foolish for it. As it goes. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Masturbation

I can finally consume chocolate. I am a happy guy. Though the question is, “Did I succeed in my goal to keep away from all chocolate?” Hell no! I failed within the first two weeks. I causally forgot I was on Lent when I was offered to eat some chocolate brownies offered by my sister in law, and didn’t realize my error until I dismissed the offer of chocolate days later. Then there was the time I needed to eat something in the morning while visiting family, and exasperated I had Nutella on toast, once again realizing my error days later.

Seriously, dismissing the consumption of chocolate is so alien to me, I can’t even remember I’m on a mission to keep it out of my mouth. Makes me wonder how I ever managed through my first Lent without meat. While it was a learning experiment, I still failed to keep chocolate out of my system. As long as we are on a trend of failure for my 40 Days & Nights trails, let’s try something I have no faith I can legitimately complete at all: Masturbation. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Chocolate

So I got through my time without porn. Did I succeed? Technically. I’m sure if I would be as critical of myself as I usually am, it would be a complete failure, but in the end I did indeed keep away from the porn throughout my Lent. By it’s definition, pornography is the portrayal of explicit sexual acts for the purpose of sexual arousal or exotic satisfaction. And there’s nothing pornographic or sexual about the nude female form and appreciating it for what it is. Anyone who has the gall to say otherwise needs to get their head out of their ass. Sure, some of the material may have pushed it, but I’m not going to be as critical of myself, so boo to you.

Took some hard thinking on this next 4o Days & Nights of mine, hence why it took so long to make this official written notice. That and the fact I’m having financial issues along with jury duty, but as it goes. Going to have to be something simple while I continue to work things out, yet still a big part of what has always been my comfort zone through the hard times. So I’m sorry Chocolate, my dear retreat of goodness, you and I will have to pass on seeing each other for awhile. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Porn

So I finally got through my Lent with Channel Awesome and all related material. It was otherwise an easy task, save the days I noted tweets from the producers or the very last day in which I had another 24 hours to do and thought it was already over. Already caught myself up with a few of the videos I haven’t watched since last month, along with the first part of Suburban Knights. Looking good off the bat, though I’m noting acting mistakes such as shifty eyes, wincing at actions where there should be none, looking at the camera, and other amateur ticks that keep you from delving too deep into the work. Mind you, I’m as amateur as they come, and considering the weight of what they have created, it’s really a non-issue. It’s worth checking out should you enjoy fantasy and pop culture on any level, so….boom!

Now comes the next 40 days & 40 nights…what to do with myself? I thought on that as I watched fellows rip Duke Nukem Forever, and I found it difficult to come up with. Sure, I thought on this before and considered some good options, but the lot of them were too early or improper to be giving up at this time. There’s of course Neopets, which I’ve sadly (gladly?) jumped into again, and it would be yet another Internet item I could lose to gain more time. Despite this I’m currently working on dealings with other users, so dropping it cold turkey as of right now isn’t in the cards. Will possibly be for the next run through, so huzzah for that. Continue reading