Category Archives: Akoha

My Akoha Backlog #5 – Goodbye Compulsive Pairing

Sometimes there are ideas for Akoha missions which have good intention, but are badly executed. One such mission was “Give It Up!” which asked participants to, “give up a bad habit at least for one day,” and…that’s just plain stupid. Not giving up legit bad habits, because that’s incredibly earth shattering stuff to change one’s self for the better (hopefully). The problem is giving up said habit(s) for a single day. Honestly, what does a single day matter in the scheme of things? Vices of this nature are hardwired into our system, and cause real problems when they are kept away. And don’t say, “This just shows how easy it is to drop a habit if that’s how one day felt.” Try dropping something completely and see how well your mind and body handles the shock of never being able to have that one thing ever again. Just try.

No, please try. It’s really for the best when on the goal of self discovery and reinventing yourself into a more ideal you, especially if that ideal is in your head and beyond the scope of whatever you can really do. But discovering that is a very important part of knowing yourself, which is something which only you can do and gives you the most joy in your life. Knowing is different than doing, however, though I did do plenty of the doing back in my 40 Days & 40 Nights faze. Through it all I found myself to be a very sexual creature, that I can never seem to be rid of chocolate and other tasty food, and I have a hard time breaking habits when they start. Continue reading


My Akoha Backlog #4 – Lovely Loafers

“Lovely Loafers” was a simple mission that asked folk to “take a picture of [their] shoes,” and when you really think about it, it’s not that simple at all. Shoes are just as complicated as clothes, in that they are only as complicated as you let them be, and god damn do people make it a ridiculous issue. There are stories and memories associated with clothes, such as the times we had in them, the places we won’t go because of them, even the persona we seek to convey through them. Forget how you bundle up for the current weather or what matches with the socks, the emotional attachments we make with clothes can get insane.

I’ve done my duty through the years to do without too many clothes (or shoes, as the purpose of this posting is), and have done well for myself, save that those who saw me a few years ago will think I never wash because I’m wearing the clothes they last saw me in. But if it isn’t “broke” why in the hell should I go broke just to “fix” it? But really, my wardrobe is filled with junk clothes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Anyone who seeks to give me clothes as a gift is getting a slap in the face, because I already have enough as it is. That it’s proper attire or fits me anymore since I’ve gained thirty pounds in another matter altogether. Continue reading

My Akoha Backlog #3 – Duct Tape Flowers are BETTER…but…

We once again return with more Akoha Backlog, because being obsessive is a pain in the ass. This weeks mission is called Power Walk and required me to, “Walk somewhere that [I] normally commute to. Photograph something [I] wouldn’t have seen otherwise.” A little complicated to complete, given that the locations I would drive to are farther than my bike would take me (sensibly), and I otherwise need the car to haul items. And if I need to head somewhere close, I just bike to it to save time. Because walking is for losers. But I guess I needed to bite the bullet on this one, and at least try to find a location I haven’t been to many times before, because I’ve explored the hell out of my locale in the past year.

But walk I did, however…I did something a little unorthodox: I did this mission in conjunction with a prior mission. Just as that mission had the benefit of taking out many birds with the same stone, I thought I would work the same here. Doing this makes me feel as if I’ve broken a “rule” and I find myself wanting to stray from such things in the future. Hopefully it shall be the case, or at the very least I’ll be kinder to myself because DAMMIT, I’m supposed to be making mistakes, right? Continue reading

My Akoha Backlog #2 – George Carlin was a (Cynical) Genius

Back in Christmas 2005 I received a George Carlin 2006 Calender, because I apparently loved his work along with the rest of my family. Never mind I was too young to really grasp what he gave the world or even bothered to find out (even to this day), George was still appreciated by me, so the calender was a thankful gift…in the form of getting it, that is. See, I never used it once through the whole of 2006. I read through the first few days of quotes, Then left the calender sitting somewhere through the whole of the year. It was otherwise a wasted purchase upon me.

And bless my young stupid heart, I understood that failing, and made a decision to make the investment in me worthwhile by finding some means to use the calender in a creative project. On what that would be I had no idea, but it was going to make proud those who gave it to me and especially George Carlin. The aspirations of the young are ever ridiculous, especially with the lack of self understanding. While I always understood myself to be stubborn, it took awhile for me to understand I was a lazy ass, and the calender was still valued as important in the process of the four times I’ve moved. I recently got sick of it just sitting in my drawers and finally made my move. Continue reading

My Akoha Backlog #1 – Honesty, Decency, Integrity

I am in the midst of another downward spiral, and find myself wanting to retreat from people as I did in the Fall of last year. And while I am aware of this and that it’s a bad for me in the long run, it’s hard to find reason to care. When every affirmation you give yourself is accompanied with ridiculous amounts of doubt, you’re better off just simmering in the misery you already have without being reminded of the crap you view your life to be. As such, I’m not really pressuring myself to do much of anything these days. Anything I can do (and need to do) is far too tainted with vile emotion for me to feel safe with it, making it so I never follow through at all. In other words, yet another pathetic perpetual state of sadness.

So I do need to make sure I’m doing something, but finding a task is a task unto itself. House chores help, because aside from the fact they need to be done, the sense of accomplishment is a tiny boost to keep going on things. They are things that I can see, and clearing them up clears up my mind. I try and make it a habit to be Spring cleaning 24/7, though habits are hard to keep when you don’t feel much of anything. Having a living space that is in a constant state of flux must be quite surprising to others, but given that no one sees it to begin with…*shrug* Continue reading

My Akoha History #24 – About Evan Emory

Free Crime. That was the title of the last mission played on July 14, 2011, before Akoha was shut down for good. It’s a fitting mission, given that it’s actually a good question (if taken seriously). What crime would you do if there were no repercussions to be had against you? It’s a show of your character if you can actually manage to dwell on it, and how far you would go against society if you would get away scot-free. Or you could have been the majority of what was left of Akoha at the time and make silly comments. I like to actually dissect things when I can, which can be quite the negative if put in the wrong situation.

In regards to this mission, there aren’t too many things I would do illegally, given that I find illegal actions to be illegal for good reason (or at least most of them). To go against society usually shows something is wrong with you, and you deserve to be in prison to keep the lot of us safe. Usually. The rest of the time I’m offended at what people can get sent to jail for, and what people are doing with the Law to enforce actions which set us back rather than move us forward. Such is the case with Evan Emory. Continue reading

My Akoha History #23 – About Shinya Tsukamoto

“What Are You Watching Right Now?” played July 9, 2011. Do you need to be told what this mission was about? For me this would imply movie, but I’m sure it could have been turned into anything. But since when have I ever bothered to watch anything other than something on the television? Though I must say if I was going to see something other than a monitor, it would be Steam Powered Giraffe on a stage. Those automatons had my heart ever since I heard Honeybee weeks ago.

Back to the mission! On that day, I was fascinated with a short film made by Shinya Tsukamoto, a Japanese director/actor who caught my attention sometime after high school. The majority of topics deal with extremes of emotion, and how they can change people in incredibly nasty ways. Given that a lot of what I would normally say at this point has already been said by my past self I’ll just let him speak… Continue reading