Tag Archives: Religion

Queer Shorts 10 – In Summary

It’s been a time since Queer Shorts 10 happened over at the Bartell Theatre, and I’ve always intended to follow through on talking about it with a special someone. Only a little bit was covered, and having recently found the program from the production, I thought I would list my thoughts out over each play. Because a blog that doesn’t have at least weekly content is a blog without purpose. Or at least that’s the logic I’m going with at this time. As always, getting things done, even if they aren’t necessarily the best course of actions. It’s how I function to get at that which does need doing Eventually. Continue reading

R.I.P. Dan Marino 2008 – 2015


This fine shirt I’m holding up with my mouth is what gave me the name Dan Marino. The origin of the shirt is forgotten to me. I believe I inherited it from my older brother sometime in the 1990s when he was still a fan of the quarterback. I kept it because I’m the kind of guy who keeps shirts until they are literally falling apart. That’s why you still see me wearing the same clothes when you first met me years ago. How I roll, deal with it.

Years later on, I partook in Anonymous protests against Scientology. Their actions and thoughts were abhorrent to me and my growing atheist feels. Plus The Internet was going to be present, and that sounded like fun. During one such protest, I came wearing the Dan Marino shirt, and started being called as such. Also Soccer Mom, because I was providing a lot of good to keep others fed, hydrated, and entertained. It was fun.

What has happened since those times? Well, the big talk against Scientology has faded, or at least for me. Life got hectic, believe I fell into another pit of depression as I always do, and the Dan Marino shirt eventually became a junk shirt to wear during heavy work. As was the case for the past year, which has beat the shirt down with sweat, washing, paint, and sharp edges. It’s falling apart, and I can’t even justify to use it for the work anymore. The Dan Marino shirt is going into the trash.

Right before I came to this conclusion for Dan Marino, a trucker from the south noted my work shirt, and asked where I got it. Suppose he was a fan? Sadly had to inform him it came from the 90s, and was likely rare and expensive by this point. Got me thinking about the history of a shirt I never thought highly of, because…fuck football. Just a game. But the memories associated with the shirt? They were important to me.

That’s why we are here right now. To pay respect to a thing that birthed an idea. Dan Marino is dead. Long live Soccer Mom. Ideas tend to live longer than actual things, right?


I am not positive and have not been a positive person for some years now. That I’ve had a better attitude these last several months means nothing because the urge to stab sharp shards in my neck still happens. In other words, don’t let the title of this blog fool you. Rather, speaks of an ideally positive Jacob without the annoyance of reality holding him down. More on that in a moment, because let’s talk backstory.

My roommate has attempted to become a mental assist life some months before I had my actual turnaround, to give an ear and guidance under the rule I give some of my own in turn. Uncertain how much use I’ve actually been to him, but the work has actually been great for me. We’ve fallen behind a tad on the things we started up in those beginning weeks, but those starting weeks were damn good. Continue reading

Happy September 11th – 2014

September 11th is here. Welcome to this celebrated holiday, an occasion which has killed a few thousand of people, affected thousands on a personal level, and millions more on an emotional one. An occasion used as an excuse to send an army across the world to kill several thousands, affect millions on a personal level, and the entire planet on an emotional one. The balance of proportionality is absurd.

I’ve made my thoughts on the events of 9/11 known back in 2009, and they still ring true (in an older and wiser presentation, that is). The outrageous tragedy that resulted from the initial tragedy continues to be downplayed, while those who point it out don’t get their due. So the hell with it. Happy September 11th. Now enjoy a crappy photoshopped image of El Jefe De Wisco at the World Trade Center when things started to go boom.

Happy September 11th 2014

My Akoha Backlog #2 – George Carlin was a (Cynical) Genius

Back in Christmas 2005 I received a George Carlin 2006 Calender, because I apparently loved his work along with the rest of my family. Never mind I was too young to really grasp what he gave the world or even bothered to find out (even to this day), George was still appreciated by me, so the calender was a thankful gift…in the form of getting it, that is. See, I never used it once through the whole of 2006. I read through the first few days of quotes, Then left the calender sitting somewhere through the whole of the year. It was otherwise a wasted purchase upon me.

And bless my young stupid heart, I understood that failing, and made a decision to make the investment in me worthwhile by finding some means to use the calender in a creative project. On what that would be I had no idea, but it was going to make proud those who gave it to me and especially George Carlin. The aspirations of the young are ever ridiculous, especially with the lack of self understanding. While I always understood myself to be stubborn, it took awhile for me to understand I was a lazy ass, and the calender was still valued as important in the process of the four times I’ve moved. I recently got sick of it just sitting in my drawers and finally made my move. Continue reading

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day 2014

Happy Everybody Draw Mohammed Day! This is the fifth year of its inception, and Islamic tradition is still calling for the death of those who depict the Muslim prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Well ain’t that a bunch of bull? Do your part this day by creating a peace of art depicting the grand prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), because nothing pisses off a god more than a caricature of his final prophet (again, peace be upon him). Gods be fickle, yo!

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day 2014

40 Days & 40 Nights: Pants

And thus I can pleasure myself again without any guilt, aside from the standard guilt society would place on me for not finding a mate. Not that doing so would be in my best interest, but as it goes. Needless to say I’ve failed the Lent, but it was to be expected. Habits die hard, though I thankfully wasn’t going out of my mind like I was last time. No messed up dreams, wonky sleep schedules, or other issues one would expect. Just fairly normal frustration one with no outlet would come to expect, otherwise business as usual. That’s an improvement I suppose, so I’ll have to see what should happen to me next time I should take this up. Hell, the fact I’m even considering this shows I’m getting better at this sort of thing. I think.

Now it’s time to get serious. The next Lent is one I’ve been thinking on for awhile now, and I’ve been thinking on it long enough that the thought of thinking on it anymore makes me sick, especially knowing I can’t do it during the Winter. Given how I now know I have a history of going through depression during Winter, I don’t want to deal with even more loathsome regret because of being too chicken shit to follow through on something I actually want to do. But this is indeed not only a big sacrifice, but one that will actually effect how I’m treated in public. I’ve been meaning to disturb the universe for awhile now, however, so the heck with it. It’s settled: I will be giving up pants for the next 40 days & nights. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Cookies, Little Debbies, etc.

So just a handful of hours ago, I was quite buzzed to celebrate the ability to not be sober. Or was I just exceptionally tired? I’m honestly not sure. It wasn’t that long ago I went to bed, thinking I would sleep till 12 PM because this was usually how my body feels when it’s going to be like that. Now here we are just a few hours later and I’m wide awake typing this up because I needed something to occupy my mind. Seriously, it needed to get occupied after I read far too much about Paula Deen’s problems. Why the hell do I seek to piss myself off with the lives of people whom I don’t even know about? I get enough reminders that this world is still backwards as it is, so typing away I shall do.

One thing I can note about my time with the brew (and already noted on my Twitter) is I keep forgetting alcohol is meant to be a social drink. I may feel like a fool when I drunkenly speak with folk (or more likely electronically message these days), but it’s honestly the point of the drink. We are social creatures of varying inhibitions, of which I have plenty. These inhibitions  are lost in the presence of a little/lot of poison to the blood, bringing out the feeling and need of connection I never really allow myself to have. Well, act on I should say, because I give plenty of, “Whoa is me!” talks as it is. This is not me admitting to wanting “stilts” while in social circumstances, but simply acknowledging why it should happen. And also to attempt a true change in behavior. Continue reading

Pwning Life: Communication, Culture, and Everybody Draw Mohammed Day

I’ve been unemployed for over a month now, a state I chose of my own volition. The reasons have been expressed already, so I don’t need to go into it too much, though for the purposes of this talk I must say this: working with people who speak little to no English is a pain in the ass. Never mind the fact communication was almost null in the work place due to the loud machines, having a conversation with my coworkers was nonexistent due to a language and even cultural barrier. This brought on a lot of stress when I sought understanding from certain coworkers, who would look at me like I was an idiot, and to my shame, I did in turn.

Up front, I have no issue with employers hiring those with trouble in a language. What better way to teach a language than making it a necessity to use it every day for your livelihood? From there you just need to take steps to make sure you’re integrating people together, and not only were there no efforts in my workplace (that I was aware of), the environment smothered such things. For my part I could have taken some time to communicate with the folk around me and even learned Spanish (is a goal of mine) rather than focusing on just the work and nothing but the work. It’s hard to change ones ways, however, and I was determined to keep focus on the work rather than talk with strangers, and the loud workplace just made this action easier to accept. And so this went for many months, playing a factor in my voluntary leave from the company. Continue reading

Pwning Life: Finding Passion

On keeping up with Pwning Life (though I am ever behind), I took the step presented by Master Pain and took the T1Q Test. The test would “help me discover how to find my purpose in life” and find my passion. Before you all get to say, “That’s not how it works,” you are right with that thought in mind. I believe I went into it with that thought as well, but I did something I never really do these days, even with my writing : I put emotion into it. I was given the option to write full essays if I wanted to, so instead of writing short sentence responses, I made the most of my freedom I wrote about what I felt and believed with gusto.

Besides! The test couldn’t give me a proper return if I didn’t give enough data, right? You can only imagine how foolish I felt afterword. In reality, the T1Q test is nothing but a means to fish data out of you, asking challenging questions you likely never bothered with, and giving them back to you with some notes. The end result would be to have “your answers reflected back to you”…in other words, your passion is within the answers you wrote, but only you can see them. But we knew that all along, didn’t we? Continue reading