Tag Archives: Sex

Status Update 2015.10.26

In terms of an update/check-in/etc. on the self, and if I’m good to myself and accepting of how things really are…I’ve come a long way from my wretched days. To handle my depression, I take Prozac and see a therapist weeks at a time to help guide me through my head work. I consume Soylent for a large portion of my diet, not counting cheat days. This saves me money from groceries, time from shopping and cooking, and gives me a healthy and workable diet I can actually stick to and lose weight (with the addition of exercise). The fears of using a smartphone are gone, with digital tools helping me organize thoughts and communications better than ever. Even the last barrier came down by adding Facebook to the smartphone, leaving nothing between me and another in terms of connection, save my own failings to do so.

I have learned (am still learning) to love and be loved by another, and that I have that at all is a blessing I am ever thankful for, and is likely the crown achievement of where I stand right now. Could be called cheesy as hell, but when you have honestly never allowed yourself to fall into such feelings or even understand what it fully meant, hurt and all…trust me, this is huge. But in summary, things are great. I’m in a very good place right now with so much potential. Continue reading

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Queer Shorts 10 – In Summary

It’s been a time since Queer Shorts 10 happened over at the Bartell Theatre, and I’ve always intended to follow through on talking about it with a special someone. Only a little bit was covered, and having recently found the program from the production, I thought I would list my thoughts out over each play. Because a blog that doesn’t have at least weekly content is a blog without purpose. Or at least that’s the logic I’m going with at this time. As always, getting things done, even if they aren’t necessarily the best course of actions. It’s how I function to get at that which does need doing Eventually. Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights – Version 2.0

I’m jumping on the Lent wagon again. This time I’m not giving up on one thing at a time, but going cold turkey: everything is going to be dropped. Tired of seeing a shade of myself with just a single piece of me missing. Want to see myself as an entirely different person, without all the vices holding me down (aka giving modest yet short comfort). Plus it’s much easier to pick up a whole new routine than ween slowly into it, because the shock will force the change, and keep it stronger in mind. Or at least that’s the belief me and my roommate have been having for awhile. Better to act a thought than let it lie, you know?

Where I’m at is rather unsteady, but I want to actually be doing something with myself, and bring focus into where I am and going. There’s a factor of falling back into depression despite the medication I’m on (yes, that is a thing now), but let’s pretend it isn’t here for now while I explain how this will work. Prior poss had me talk about how the last Lent challenge went, then talking about what I would be taking on next. Instead, I will now just note when deviations from my Lent occurs during a period, perhaps giving a background to the how and why. To remind everyone of how much of a fool I am, here is everything I’ve given up for a time in the past… Continue reading

Fur Squared 2014 – In Summary

I went to a Furry convention. There’s really no need to beat around the bush, because I honestly don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I went into the den of the great evil! The big, bad, fursuited wolves! And found it to be no different than any other fandom, though I find preference to this than those who enjoy golfing, cars, and other conventions that happen around such mundane topics. I’m no Furry or even a Brony (much as my roommate will say otherwise, dammit, just stop), but I have enough geekdom/fandom/memes/etc. within me to understand that labels are bullshit. This Furry convention I went to is no different than any other convention I would otherwise enjoy.

OH!!! There’s a bunch of sexiness with animals going on! Sorry, not biting the bait of one “perversion” for another. Anime Central has its own bouts with sexiness, my favorite being the call outs of yaoi being sold, and fanart of the shirtless dwarves from the film adaptations of The Hobbit. If you look long enough you find perversion in anything, and while Furry DOES have it, it’s just a portion of the fandom. Anthropomorphic appreciation. That’s Furry fandom in a nutshell (to me at least), and if you enjoy fucking vampires you’re a fan as well, because they are undead bestial creatures. Cartoon animals! Almost everything in Dungeons & Dragons! There’s aspects of anthro in every fandom you enjoy, so Furry haters? Get over yourselves already! Continue reading

My Thoughts on Nymphomaniac 1/4/2015

Find myself in the middle of the night taunted by the need to say some words, and certainly more than the ones I’m going to share right now. So rather than pass out and potentially have a good sleep for myself, will release some of those words and talk about Nymphomaniac, which I finished watching some hours ago with some company. Twas an uncomfortable experience as expected, but not in the ways I originally thought it would be. Continue reading

Pwning Life: POSITIVE JACOB!

I am not positive and have not been a positive person for some years now. That I’ve had a better attitude these last several months means nothing because the urge to stab sharp shards in my neck still happens. In other words, don’t let the title of this blog fool you. Rather, speaks of an ideally positive Jacob without the annoyance of reality holding him down. More on that in a moment, because let’s talk backstory.

My roommate has attempted to become a mental assist life some months before I had my actual turnaround, to give an ear and guidance under the rule I give some of my own in turn. Uncertain how much use I’ve actually been to him, but the work has actually been great for me. We’ve fallen behind a tad on the things we started up in those beginning weeks, but those starting weeks were damn good. Continue reading

Things Are Happening Places: Drive-In Caravan @ Highway 18 Outdoor Theater

Outdoor Theater Promo Aug 2014True story: I never had a date at an outdoor theater. Hell, I haven’t had a lot of dates regardless of location, but the point I’m trying to make is I yearn to have that date at some point. Suppose it could be called a bucket list item. Some people dream of getting married, getting certain jobs/works accomplished, visiting another country…I dream of taking someone out on a date to an outdoor theater and potentially making out with them. Not a requirement, because the tension is fine enough. Plus I love movies, especially those shown in the outdoor theater. Continue reading

My Akoha Backlog #5 – Goodbye Compulsive Pairing

Sometimes there are ideas for Akoha missions which have good intention, but are badly executed. One such mission was “Give It Up!” which asked participants to, “give up a bad habit at least for one day,” and…that’s just plain stupid. Not giving up legit bad habits, because that’s incredibly earth shattering stuff to change one’s self for the better (hopefully). The problem is giving up said habit(s) for a single day. Honestly, what does a single day matter in the scheme of things? Vices of this nature are hardwired into our system, and cause real problems when they are kept away. And don’t say, “This just shows how easy it is to drop a habit if that’s how one day felt.” Try dropping something completely and see how well your mind and body handles the shock of never being able to have that one thing ever again. Just try.

No, please try. It’s really for the best when on the goal of self discovery and reinventing yourself into a more ideal you, especially if that ideal is in your head and beyond the scope of whatever you can really do. But discovering that is a very important part of knowing yourself, which is something which only you can do and gives you the most joy in your life. Knowing is different than doing, however, though I did do plenty of the doing back in my 40 Days & 40 Nights faze. Through it all I found myself to be a very sexual creature, that I can never seem to be rid of chocolate and other tasty food, and I have a hard time breaking habits when they start. Continue reading

Things Are Happening Places: Mad Rollin’ Dolls Roller Derby

Mad Rollin Dolls Promo July 2014

Have found memories of roller skating in my youth. The feeling of flying free across the floor is something many of us can relate to, which is why some roller skating functions still exist for adults to this day. They are few and far between, but they are thriving wherever you may find them. And along with this feeling of freedom on wheels comes a memory of punishment, when we were told to stop shoving each other around for the sake of safety, and despite the fact it hurt to hold back our primal instincts, we obeyed. Now that we are adults, we still have to obey because of the supposed decency of society that we have, and thus we never have a release of our urges despite the responsibility we have. That is, of course, you have the option to participate in roller derby, in which case hell yeah!

My first and only roller derby experiences thus far were with the Brewcity Bruisers, and it was hella fun. Punk, sexy, funny, and likely one of the few sporting events I enjoyed. Given I don’t enjoy going to sporting events alone (or anything alone), that’s saying something. Still have my Maiden Milwaukee shirt as well, because paaank! I’ve yet to see how Madison’s variation, the Mad Rollin’ Dolls, differs from Milwaukee’s brand, but I’m pretty damn sure it’s the same fun I’ve come to expect from the games. The 2014 Home Season Schedule finished up back in May, but the 2014 Interleague Season Schedule is still going on, with matches coming up July 12th and August 9th. There are also plenty of non-bout events, so be sure to check out their calender and do your best to support the sport.

Things Are Happening Places: Tromadance 2014 (also Emily Youcis)

Despite the fact I shouldn’t have known a dang thing about Troma movies in my youth if my parents had done their parenting duties, I somehow came to know of the Toxic Avenger and related films. I honestly couldn’t tell you how this came to be, though I have memories of Troma films being played on USA and watching Class of Nuke ‘Em High with my parents…but hey, they told me when to close my eyes, because that’s enough, right? But I honestly don’t mind that such media was a small part of my youth, because while I never fully embraced Troma, a seed was planted which I have embraced in the now. God dammit, Troma films are what filmmaking should be about…in the sense they just go out there and make films, and not the hyper violence and sex that’s associated with it. Just to clarify. Continue reading