Tag Archives: TGWTG

40 Days & 40 Nights – Version 2.0

I’m jumping on the Lent wagon again. This time I’m not giving up on one thing at a time, but going cold turkey: everything is going to be dropped. Tired of seeing a shade of myself with just a single piece of me missing. Want to see myself as an entirely different person, without all the vices holding me down (aka giving modest yet short comfort). Plus it’s much easier to pick up a whole new routine than ween slowly into it, because the shock will force the change, and keep it stronger in mind. Or at least that’s the belief me and my roommate have been having for awhile. Better to act a thought than let it lie, you know?

Where I’m at is rather unsteady, but I want to actually be doing something with myself, and bring focus into where I am and going. There’s a factor of falling back into depression despite the medication I’m on (yes, that is a thing now), but let’s pretend it isn’t here for now while I explain how this will work. Prior poss had me talk about how the last Lent challenge went, then talking about what I would be taking on next. Instead, I will now just note when deviations from my Lent occurs during a period, perhaps giving a background to the how and why. To remind everyone of how much of a fool I am, here is everything I’ve given up for a time in the past… Continue reading

Fur Squared 2014 – In Summary

I went to a Furry convention. There’s really no need to beat around the bush, because I honestly don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I went into the den of the great evil! The big, bad, fursuited wolves! And found it to be no different than any other fandom, though I find preference to this than those who enjoy golfing, cars, and other conventions that happen around such mundane topics. I’m no Furry or even a Brony (much as my roommate will say otherwise, dammit, just stop), but I have enough geekdom/fandom/memes/etc. within me to understand that labels are bullshit. This Furry convention I went to is no different than any other convention I would otherwise enjoy.

OH!!! There’s a bunch of sexiness with animals going on! Sorry, not biting the bait of one “perversion” for another. Anime Central has its own bouts with sexiness, my favorite being the call outs of yaoi being sold, and fanart of the shirtless dwarves from the film adaptations of The Hobbit. If you look long enough you find perversion in anything, and while Furry DOES have it, it’s just a portion of the fandom. Anthropomorphic appreciation. That’s Furry fandom in a nutshell (to me at least), and if you enjoy fucking vampires you’re a fan as well, because they are undead bestial creatures. Cartoon animals! Almost everything in Dungeons & Dragons! There’s aspects of anthro in every fandom you enjoy, so Furry haters? Get over yourselves already! Continue reading

ACen 2014 Adverts

Anime Central 2014 advertisements, business cards, and promos…GO!!!

  • A Slap on Titan – In the vein of hilarious Team Four Star parodies, this one is for Attack on Titan, which is all the rage these days. Because naked giants chasing after you is scary as hell.
  • Albert The Alien – Kickstarter for a new graphic novel and OH HEY! This is a venture from Trevor Mueller! Which means it’s badass and deserves to get pushed through. DO IT!!!
  • Anime California – Anime convention that’s in California…obviously…and sponsored by Crunchyroll.
  • Anime NebrasKon – Anime convention that’s in Nebraska…and DANG that’s fine word play! I’m sold!

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Cryptic ACen 2014 Meanings

We once more bring you another annual blog post to explain the summarized tweet I always put out after coming back from Anime Central. It’s been another great convention of cosplay, fandom, anime, geekdom, madness, emotion, exhaustion, walking, laughing, and…*sigh*…I may as well just admit it. This was the worst ACen I’ve ever had. Not on the part of ACen or those I spent it with, because they have always been awesome to me. The reason for it sucking should actually be very apparent for those who understand what I’ve been going through, and should come as no surprise.

Depression – Of the many rules one must follow when going to any sort of convention, not going alone is paramount. Having strong connections with people to properly decompress with and bounce things off of just makes a con that much better, if not the very reason you go to begin with. As many know I’ve kept myself alone for the longest time, and this has resulted in me not speaking anyone right up to the point ACen started. The vast majority of my free time at ACen was spent sitting by myself and watching others appreciate each other’s company, and I did everything I could to keep myself from crying because I wanted and needed their company as well, but had no idea how I should go about it or even bother trusting in others for that matter.

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Pwning Life: The Realization of Worth Through Loss

I think I’ve done enough work to make it publicly known I’m suicidal, and if the fact hasn’t been hammered home yet, let this be the last nail on the coffin (ha ha?). I’m a lot better than I have been since November, but I have still been unable to find professional help. A combination of a lot of things factored into this (poor focus, more melancholy, funds, obligations, etc.), but the result is the same: I’m a depressive suicidal who has trouble communicating with others on a very basic level, which makes getting myself out of the funk I’m in all the harder. It’s a mess that makes me wonder why I even bother, given it’s likely going to be more trouble than it’s worth in regards to everyone involved.

It’s understood this is depressing news, but I have to be honest with what I feel because if I don’t let it out in some fashion I would otherwise burst in the worst way possible. Consider it the “cry for help” if you will. Writing, talking and being meta about my process has helped me cope…but only a bit. The hard wiring within me is still there, and no matter how much I deal with the symptoms the mess will continue lest I change it. It’s a shame that plenty is telling me I should just shrug my shoulders and cut my losses. Continue reading

Pwning Life: Change Your Perception of “Professionalism”

It’s very likely I’m confusing the word professional with refined, but given that a lot of people tend to do this already, why the heck not take it like this? I’ve been raised to live within your means (or at least I hope that’s the case), and quite frankly that means giving up the grandiose for the basics. For what works over what looks good. As a supposed filmmaker I’ve heard how everyone needs great cameras or editing software to make it…and all I can think about when I hear this is how the filmmakers of yesteryear got by on less than what I currently have. So what does that say about being top of the line? Continue reading

ACen 2013 Adverts

And thus we round off another Anime Central with a list of all the advertisements, business cards, promos, etc. that I have collected through my walks in the convention space and hotel. I try and keep away from sharing duplicated adverts from previous years, so in other words get yon butts to those previous posts and giver yer business to them wonderful folk. There’s an industry and fandom to support, you hear? Onward!

Pwning Life: Finding Passion

On keeping up with Pwning Life (though I am ever behind), I took the step presented by Master Pain and took the T1Q Test. The test would “help me discover how to find my purpose in life” and find my passion. Before you all get to say, “That’s not how it works,” you are right with that thought in mind. I believe I went into it with that thought as well, but I did something I never really do these days, even with my writing : I put emotion into it. I was given the option to write full essays if I wanted to, so instead of writing short sentence responses, I made the most of my freedom I wrote about what I felt and believed with gusto.

Besides! The test couldn’t give me a proper return if I didn’t give enough data, right? You can only imagine how foolish I felt afterword. In reality, the T1Q test is nothing but a means to fish data out of you, asking challenging questions you likely never bothered with, and giving them back to you with some notes. The end result would be to have “your answers reflected back to you”…in other words, your passion is within the answers you wrote, but only you can see them. But we knew that all along, didn’t we? Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: Entertainment Consumption

By the time you read this, I am likely eating the chocolate covered almonds given to me as a birthday gift a week and a half ago. And I may or may not be having Nutella and a bowl of vanilla ice cream with pecan pieces thrown on top. Don’t want to go into a sugar shock or destroy my teeth any more than necessary, you know? While I may finally be able to eat chocolate again, it doesn’t mean I have to go and make myself sick. Already having a bit of that right now, and let me tell you, I look forward to not having to go to the bathroom so much. TMI, yes, so moving on.

And I did fail the challenge of not eating chocolate for this Lent. Were there any doubts it would be otherwise? I failed on three separate occasions, and all quite funny stories. My first failure was by strange mistake, one fueled by exhaustion from work. I had gotten in the habit of driving around town and exploring after buying snacks from the local Kwik Trip, and I had a craving for some peanut butter cookies. I quickly picked up a case, and over the course of the next couple days after that night munched on two cookies driving to and from work. Halfway through the container, I finally noticed the type of cookies they were via the label: white chocolate chip and macadamia nut. I honestly don’t know how I could have made the mistake, especially given they look nothing like Kwik Trip peanut butter cookies. Strangely enough, I discovered they taste similar when I eventually bought real peanut butter cookies later on (though white chocolate was slightly sweeter). Continue reading

40 Days & 40 Nights: eBay

My Neopets withdrawal went by rather quickly and smoothly. In the end I fell back upon other time wasters, like Channel Awesome, YouTube, and Newgrounds. Not a very healthy choice for myself, given I have so much to catch up with in my life, and it’s becoming quite annoying to everyone when I keep telling them I haven’t gotten a hold of my life yet (you the reader included). So I’ll stop being redundant and get on with it.

In regards to getting on with my life, I’ve come into a job since November that isn’t good for my health, but was a job willing to pay me for the work I could do. I gladly signed on, and even got a lot of my debt paid off. But due to the fact I actually have a spine when it comes to ethics (even though it takes me awhile to stand up for them), my last day on the job will be this Friday. As such, the income will be cut till I can find something new, which should be really easy considering I was almost immediately offered this position upon moving home. Or it could be really hard, considering I never bothered to see what the job market is really like. Again, I got this job almost immediately. Continue reading