Can one really say their life is falling apart again if it’s never been put together to begin with? That’s what it’s always felt like to me, and I tire of having to say the same old garbage when people ask how I’m doing. So I’m just not going to say anything at all and withdrawal from the world a bit. From here on out till I have some sense of control once again, consider me AFK in regards to IRL. Given I’ve been fairly withdrawn from the world already, you may be wondering how this differs from prior periods of withdrawal from the world? Not much, save that I’m freeing myself from feeling obligated to relationships and new ventures.
There’s a certain power I haven’t really used these past few months: saying no. I’ve said yes to a lot of things for some months now, not only because I thought I could handle it and prior commitments, but because I wanted to please others. So I not only continued to mishandle my life, but I continued to be lousy to those I wished to please. The hell with it. I’ve ended my run with theater, I’ve denied assisting on a Project Famous venture happening next week, and will continue to deny new things lest they are necessary so that I may focus only on such items. In fact I view my writing of this as unnecessary because it merely delays that which is still unfinished. However, I’ve found that getting my thoughts in a solid form like writing helps get a better handle on them. Least that’s the hope this time around. So maybe not a big waste of time? Continue reading