Christmas Eve 2014 Affirmation

It’s now the evening hours of Christmas Eve, and I’m in a bit of a haze due to several hours of napping but not really napping. Barely passing out in front of your newly acquired Chromebook doesn’t constitute rest, and the hours of nothing have gotten to me. Need to get myself into action before the day is through, so I’m writing and affirming my thoughts to help those actions along. Christmas time is the time I get my own personal work done, after all.

Yeah, personal work, because I’ve spent Christmas time the same way since (I believe) 2011: by myself, and keeping to myself so as to not bother the times others have for themselves. Now that I think of it, it’s the same with every birthday, New Year’s Eve, etc. in that I never made plans. Plan entail the presence of others, and I could never convince myself to believe others would want to spend time with me during these moments. Especially on short notice, because it was and is always the case with me and the way my brain worked/works. Just don’t be a bother, because it’s not like you’re going to get much of a response anyway.

Pwning Life: POSITIVE JACOB!

I am not positive and have not been a positive person for some years now. That I’ve had a better attitude these last several months means nothing because the urge to stab sharp shards in my neck still happens. In other words, don’t let the title of this blog fool you. Rather, speaks of an ideally positive Jacob without the annoyance of reality holding him down. More on that in a moment, because let’s talk backstory.

My roommate has attempted to become a mental assist life some months before I had my actual turnaround, to give an ear and guidance under the rule I give some of my own in turn. Uncertain how much use I’ve actually been to him, but the work has actually been great for me. We’ve fallen behind a tad on the things we started up in those beginning weeks, but those starting weeks were damn good.