Best Films I’ve Seen in 2017

Rather than make an entirely new post about films I’ve seen the past year, why not just direct you to my Letterboxd account? Got into it via the suggestion of friends of mine, though I honestly only seem to use it to organize what films I want to see and have seen. Completionist mentality, I’m sure. Give it a look and be sure to balk at my taste.

[Old] Status Update 2016.12.20 (Currently 2017.12.22)

What I find most difficult to cope with in regards to getting my life back together is how I can justify getting back in touch with other people. Because I don’t feel I can. Yes I’ve been out of sorts for what seems like forever, but when I consider the list of people I’ve spoken with since coming to Madison, and the…

So…I guess…

*one year of silence passes*

I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016 Film) – In Summary

This is annoying. In the middle of the night, after months of not being able to write anything except communications to others…I break the silence to talk about a movie I just finished. I could lament how I could make such better use of my time than spend it idly watching visual media unfold, but then I would be damning my attempts to write out my thoughts, and I’ll be honest, this is a refreshing feeling. I’ve been meaning to write and a hell of a lot of others things for a time now, and that I’m actually doing without any planning whatsoever? So no, won’t damn it, but I’ll certainly be annoyed with how it came about.

The film was I Am Not a Serial Killer (obviously). I had no idea what the heck I was getting into, save that it appeared to be subject matter I’m usually drawn to, and I wasn’t doing much else with myself this Monday night…now early Tuesday morning. So I was once again taken aback by a film that exceeded my non-expectations, and likely even real expectations if I knew a damn thing about it. The film hits all the current marks of a good film for me: proper pace and editing, clever cinematography, moments of silence and reflection, and a story that progressed naturally with us finding things as we go, rather than getting the information shoved at you. The production did a damn good job, and that’s really all I need to say to give it applause…

Status Update 2016.8.22

I’m continually bothered by what I think I need to be doing with time, all while consoling myself that I need to be good to me and accept what I can do, taking baby steps of improvement along the way. Nothing new there, but a thought occurs to me why I rush and eventually belittle myself as to why things are the way they are. Perhaps I lack faith in the world empathizing with my moments, and why I am where I am (even when I don’t really know, especially that). I’m getting better at recognizing these feelings, so I can at least give myself a break some of the time. It just works a lot better when I don’t open my mouth, fail to follow through and lose integrity, making me regret I ever opened up to another at all. But if I can name The Fear, it can’t control me. Or at least be able to take small steps when I feel myself caught in a moment such as this.

There’s really nothing more I have to say than this. Just felt the need to sit and let my fingers flow, because my head was racing, and if I can just get it out in some fashion, in a space where it’s safe to do so and without judgement…I can get other things out of me. And yes, the Internet isn’t really a space without judgement, but for one, The Trolls have yet to find and bait me yet, so I’m free of their annoyance for now. And two, whatever I can say and share here is something I am comfortable sharing anywhere, so even if I did have The Trolls barking at me, I’d be okay. In theory. Still more data to collect for a definitive result.

Status Update 2016.6.24

A little tipsy right now, and JUST managed to persuade myself from biking to Walmart before they close at 11 PM. Just so I could buy a scale to accurately measure the weight of a future package so as to sell it properly on eBay. And this is a thought that started in my head before I started drinking, mind you. Why I started drinking on this seemingly free day when I can work upon The Things I always talk about…I have no idea. But that’s how it turned out, and I’m making the most of it.

Status Update 2016.6.5

It’s been a time since I said or shared anything about myself. While I would say it’s because nothing is happening, something is always happening. I just seem to have lost the ability to care to share what is inside my head as I used to. An odd circumstance I’ve always been meaning to change be looking through my headspace and clearly noting what is there upon this blog. Now is good a time as any. For a bit, because priorities, I guess.

Aloha Project Famous, 2012 – 2015

Let us reminisce together. I first heard of Project Famous through Meetup in 2012, a social website MilTownKid got me into, though didn’t take advantage of until that time. The Meetup was created by Joey Broyles, and it fashioned itself as a safe and friendly environment to connect and create things, and would be proactive on getting all the projects we wanted done. Given my desire to create things and in desperate need of friendly connections, I jumped in and supported it from day one. Good things came about from our works. That much I can say as I look back on things, sad as I am about what happened in the long run.

I eventually moved to Madison in the hopes of working closer with those in Project Famous. It didn’t pan out. One – suicidal depression doesn’t leave you much creative energy to work with, and I’ve only been getting a turn around since June 2015. Two – leadership and participation was poorly understood. No one was being active with each other, be it presenting ideas or helping projects. It was as if people were waiting to be told what to do, rather than take initiative with others and create something.

2015 In Review

The helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog. Read the summary of how this year went. In summary, not good. But that’s okay. Been getting better at handling how poorly I handle my life. Yes, I did say that right.

Otherwise have no time to be saying much about this. Got life to live, and priorities and such. No, I’m not responsible, I’m just stating how it is and that I may or may not get Thing accomplished. So…that’s all. More writings eventually. For now, go see something from Klaus tehKurios. He needs love right now. 😉

Status Update 2015.10.26

In terms of an update/check-in/etc. on the self, and if I’m good to myself and accepting of how things really are…I’ve come a long way from my wretched days. To handle my depression, I take Prozac and see a therapist weeks at a time to help guide me through my head work. I consume Soylent for a large portion of my diet, not counting cheat days. This saves me money from groceries, time from shopping and cooking, and gives me a healthy and workable diet I can actually stick to and lose weight (with the addition of exercise). The fears of using a smartphone are gone, with digital tools helping me organize thoughts and communications better than ever. Even the last barrier came down by adding Facebook to the smartphone, leaving nothing between me and another in terms of connection, save my own failings to do so.

I have learned (am still learning) to love and be loved by another, and that I have that at all is a blessing I am ever thankful for, and is likely the crown achievement of where I stand right now. Could be called cheesy as hell, but when you have honestly never allowed yourself to fall into such feelings or even understand what it fully meant, hurt and all…trust me, this is huge. But in summary, things are great. I’m in a very good place right now with so much potential.

Queer Shorts 10 – In Summary

It’s been a time since Queer Shorts 10 happened over at the Bartell Theatre, and I’ve always intended to follow through on talking about it with a special someone. Only a little bit was covered, and having recently found the program from the production, I thought I would list my thoughts out over each play. Because a blog that doesn’t have at least weekly content is a blog without purpose. Or at least that’s the logic I’m going with at this time. As always, getting things done, even if they aren’t necessarily the best course of actions. It’s how I function to get at that which does need doing Eventually.